How is it that we have no awards to recognize standout performances of Washington, DC, political theater? I propose a new award: the Donald.
Tag: Trump
Now Hiring: White House Seeks Acting Future Scapegoat
Wanted: Acting Future Scapegoat—White House seeks driven power-monger for cameo in top-ranked drama. Lose your moral compass on this thrill-a-minute ride.
Trump’s Disrespect for Boundaries is the Real Threat
President Trump outdid himself—that’s saying something—with his vulgar dismissal of certain nations as “shithole countries” during immigration discussions. Visceral reactions poured in from around the world, forcing Trump to—deny, not apologize. Detractors hauled the epithet to the summit of his…
2017: Tampering with the U.S. Odometer
As 2017 yields to 2018, the political and cultural terrains look strangely familiar. That may be because America is driving in reverse. If life is a journey, the preferred American mode of transport is definitely an automobile (usually a pickup…
Liberty? Roll Over, Patrick Henry!
“Among a people generally corrupt, liberty cannot long exist,” Sir Edmund Burke famously wrote in his 1777 Letter to the Sheriffs of Bristol, regarding the Crown’s troubles with the upstart American colonies. Up to now, I had thought Burke’s quote…
Trump Inaugurates Alt-Reality Show, “The Sorest Winner”
(WASHINGTON—FNN) President Donald J. Trump stunned assembled dignitaries and a worldwide audience during his inaugural speech Friday when he announced that he will produce, direct and star in a new alt-reality television show called “The Sorest Winner.” “I won, OK,…
Electoral College Outcome: Unprecedential
Pretend college awards made-up degree to sham university founder (WASHINGTON—FNN) For the first time in United States history, the Electoral College’s 538 electors convened by teleconference from their respective states Monday and agreed by a vote of 270-268 to award…
If Elected, Trump Pledges to Put Assets in Blonde Trust
At the sixth GOP debate, Donald Trump offered this brilliant safeguard to avoid Oval Office conflicts of interest: Let his children run his business empire. Ever since Trump announced his candidacy, I’ve been waiting for a debate moderator to ask…