“A White House official said on Thursday that the administration was considering a ‘proportional response’ against those who hacked into Sony Pictures computers, a retaliation that could thrust the United States into a direct confrontation with North Korea.”
–Peter Baker, reporting Dec. 18, 2014, in The New York Times
Choosing a proportional response to North Korea’s Sony hack is not as simple as it seems. Unofficial polls show the top five options and their drawbacks:
- Hack North Korea’s top movie studio and halt release of forthcoming blockbuster!
Oh yeah, they don’t have that.
- Shut down Internet service across North Korea!
Oh yeah, they don’t have that.
- Scramble cell phone service across North Korea!
Oh yeah, they don’t have that.
- Turn out the lights across North Korea!
Oh yeah, satellite photos show it’s already dark.
- “Time for traffic problems in Pyongyang!”
Oh, they already have that. Really?
Bonus Answer:
6. Airdrop millions of Sharpie markers, so residents can draw devil horns on Kim Jung-un posters!
That’ll show him!
